Postpartum psychosis: My journey of recovery after the birth of my baby boy

When Rachel Flynn gave birth to her healthy baby son Finley on a midwifery-led unit in March 2017, she was elated at becoming a mum for the first time.

But just 10 days later she found herself back in the same hospital needing acute psychiatric support after her mental health took a significant - and completely unexpected - turn for the worse.

It was discovered that Rachel had postpartum psychosis, a condition which affects as many as one in 500 women, and led to her suffering manic moods, racing thoughts and even frightening hallucinations.

To mark Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week 2024, which runs from Monday, 29 April to Sunday, 5 May, the 31-year-old has shared her journey of recovery to help others going through similar experiences.

“I swam through my pregnancy, and I had a really straightforward birth,” explained Rachel, who works as a Personal Assistant in the Cardiff and Vale Local Public Health Team. “I received really good care on the unit, so that made what happened to me afterwards even more unexpected.”

Around 24 hours after her discharge from hospital, Rachel said her husband noticed changes in her behaviour. “I was so focused on making as much breast milk as possible that I couldn't eat or sleep,” she said.

“It was like I had verbal diarrhoea. I had so much to say, but I just put that down to excitement from becoming a new mother. I genuinely didn’t think there was anything wrong with me.

“I was really career-driven and quite fast with everything I did anyway, so initially it was difficult for my family to pick up that something wasn’t quite right.”

But things progressed quickly, and around a week on from the birth Rachel found herself bedbound and only able to move her right arm.

“It must have been from exhaustion. My head was still racing, but physically I just couldn’t move. My brain was sending signals but nothing was happening. That ended up causing panic and anxiety.”

Following an appointment with her community midwife, who referred her to a GP, Rachel was seen for a mental health assessment in hospital and given medication. But that wasn’t enough to prevent her from being admitted to a psychiatric ward which meant time away from her husband and baby son.

“Just 10 days after experiencing the best day of my life, I was back in the same hospital in a psychotic state and not being able to process anything that was going on,” she said. “My family and baby son went in one direction and I went in the other - and I didn’t know why.”

A few days after she was officially diagnosed with postpartum psychosis, Rachel was transferred to a specialist inpatient mother and baby unit in Nottingham as there was no unit of its kind in Wales at the time. This has since changed following the establishment of Uned Gobaith, a specialist Perinatal Inpatient Mental Health Unit situated within Tonna Hospital, Neath, which now serves Welsh mothers. You can find out more about it here.

Rachel said the mother and baby unit was the best place for her, and it allowed her to spend quality time with Finley. “It felt like a home from home. It had six separate bedrooms, a dining room and living room area and play mats for babies on the floor. The staff were very hands on, but they wanted to empower me to do things with Finley. Everything was documented, from feeds to nappy changing.

“My banter came back within a few weeks, and I met new mums who I’m still in contact with now many years on. It didn’t even feel like I was in hospital.”

Rachel admitted it took a while to get the balance right on her anti-psychotic medication to avoid debilitating side-effects such as face drooping. But within weeks her mental health began to improve and she was gradually allowed off the unit to see her family. She was discharged home to south Wales after three months in Nottingham.

“I wasn’t myself for a good two years after this happened, and at times it was hard just to get through the day. But vulnerability can be a strength, and having those open conversations with people about your mental health can be a positive thing,” she said.

“I was so scared about how this would impact on Finley’s development, but I actually think it’s made him a better child. He is really in tune with my emotions, and I would say he can regulate me more than any adult can. I feel like I can be my whole, authentic self with him. He’s a very caring little boy.”

Rachel now works with Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP), a charity for mums and families affected by the condition. She added: “People with postpartum psychosis can live a normal life afterwards. For so long I wondered when I would see light at the end of the tunnel. I can’t be the person I was before I became a mum, but I think what’s important is that my personality is back – and I feel like ‘me’ again.”

While postpartum psychosis is more common in those with a history of bipolar disorder, it can affect people with no history of mental illness. For some it develops quickly and in others it can be more gradual.

If you are diagnosed with postpartum psychosis, you will have one or more of these symptoms:

• Delusions: delusions are strong beliefs that others do not share. This could include beliefs that your thoughts are being read, that you are being followed or that your baby is connected to God or the devil in some way
• Hallucinations: Hallucinations are when you hear, see, feel or smell things that are not there, or that others cannot.
• Mania: Mania is when you have a very high mood, behave in an overactive and excited way that has a significant impact on your day-to-day life.
• Confusion: Your thoughts might feel as if they are going so fast they are out of control. You may also feel that your mind is moving very quickly from one idea to the next, making links and connections that other people don’t see

• Other signs include feeling elated, depressed, anxious, irritable, and feeling as if you don’t need sleep.

Many people experience worry and anxiety both during and after their pregnancy, and most of it is very normal. However, there are a range of services available within Cardiff and Vale University Health Board and the Welsh NHS overall.

Community midwives and antenatal classes are good places for families to start. The teams are highly experienced in helping families who may require access to support and will listen to any concerns. Similarly, GP surgeries, health visitors and midwives will be aware of the Perinatal Mental Health team, Primary Mental Health Support Services and Community Mental Health team and how to refer people who need it.

For a range of mental health information and advice, please visit the website Stepiau here. For those who are in immediate mental health crisis, please call our 111 Press 2 team that operates 24/7. 

The Action on Postpartum Psychosis website can be found here